Tonight it’s a very spontaneous post that I’m writing following my heart’s secret voices. I’ve recently already shared my thoughts and mental state of the moment on my stories. Maybe time to share them in here as well.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s not the best time of my life. At all. I feel like a stranger living with the people I probably love the most: my family. How is it possible to feel this way then? Do I have the right to feel home sick at home, in the country I was born? I don’t know, but I do.
Most of you know it already but I’m not here to waste my time sharing thoughts and feelings that are not mine, just to seduce you or to trap you into a beautiful fake fairy tale. The solo expedition has been the most incredible moment I have ever experienced. But also my biggest investment, ever. I have no flat nor furniture back ‘home’. Luckily, I can be host by my parents for a couple of months until I put my life on rails again. And hopefully I’ll be able to upgrade my Rafiki and to turn in into a proper camper where I can live and dream about my next move, Inchallah.
A few very close family members don’t talk to me anymore since they refused to understand this adventure across Africa and the Middle East. I spent the first 2 days of my return back home crying and feeling completely misunderstood and also, kind of betrayed. But, with some distance and proper deep sleeps (finally) I now realise that it’s okay. Everything is and will be okay. I always talk and care about diversity and diversity is also having different opinions and thoughts about life, beliefs and frames of referential. Communication can be hard and actually looks harder today, for all of us. Don’t you think? Happy times are so beautiful because they are lifted by hard times. And hard times pass because they are healed by (happy) time(s). Transitions are not easy but I’m more than convinced that they are the most powerful times to truly become who we are and to shape our path best. Patience has never been my friend, but today, it’s time to make new friends. Let’s go. And let’s trust the everything.
Just to let you know that there are so many people who do understand what you do and why and how you feel. I was in Zimbabwe this year in and around july for almost 6 weeks, overlanding solo and I also feel homesick now I am back in Europe. The African bush feels more home to me then anything. For you having been away so long I can only imagine how that feels, and even more confusing being with your close family. I do so much understand your urge to be alone, traveling. But also the challenges that come with it, for you much more and bigger then on my 'short' travels. Please realize how much of an inspiration…