top of page
Writer's pictureCharline Ribotta

But Why Do I Feel Guilty?


In real times, I have left Oman a couple of weeks ago. I heard about the Dakar rally and I decided to rush it so I would have a chance to witness the worldwide raid race in Saudi Arabia.


To do so I drove a total of 4,500km in 3 weeks. It’s not that crazy but after more than 50,000km in 2 years, it’s adding some more tiredness. On the way to my first Dakar race, I had to cross 2 borders in 1 day. You’ll soon understand why.


And when I decided to try my best to follow the Dakar to the final stage and closing ceremony in Yanbu. I barely slept for a 10 days.


I’m probably just an entertainment on social media but this is my life. It’s not just about showing Rafiki in exotic landscapes, and pretending to have a natural pose (yep, I always pretend in front of my broken tripod).


This solo adventure is much more than this. But it’s difficult for me to describe how it is, concretely. I love this life on the road, deeply.


But as it already happened in Africa, I reached a point where I’m exhausted: physically and emotionally.


Physically because I have a back pain every single morning (it actually woke me up from my sleep), and from this recent tones of driving, I feel without energy these days.


Emotionally because I am so stressed to go back to Europe. I keep saying this, but it’s omnipresent in my head. I am scared to see me back there.


In real times I’m in Saudi, and I sleep in a hotel since 4 nights now. I can’t really relax because I don’t sleep well, but I can rest a bit during the day and I can stay inside, which changes me a lot from being outside nonstop.


And I feel profoundly guilty for this. Guilty for booking a hotel, guilty for enjoying a comforting bed and roof. Guilty for wasting my last savings. Should I? No. Overlanding is tiring. Long term travel as well. And being solo too.


I need this type of comfortable breaks to recalibrate and to get back on the road with all the energy.


I feel happy, impatient, and madly in love with the solo expe. Don’t mix tiredness and unhappiness.






Comments


bottom of page